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 | The Ballad of the Minstrel and the Merchant |
| The minstrel and the merchant were a-flagging on their luck, Their pockets oh-so empty and their prospects rightly sucked. So taking to the local there, they drank the night away, And come the dawn- Their funds were gone- And merchant had to say: "Hey minstrel- have you any for a bloke like me to drink? I've rumbling in me belly and me armpits rightly stink. I've got to have a bottle for to make the day seem right, The future's bleak- Me eyes are weak- And we've been here all night!" The minstrel from his stupor was awakened with a start, He straightened rather groggily then softened with a fart. His eyes beheld the merchant, tried to focus for a while, Then with a 'hic'- Was promptly sick- And passed out with a smile! The barman came returning with a tray upon each hand, Upon which several glasses teetered cleverly to stand. But as he saw the mess thereat the bar whereat they sat He soon forgot- His fragile lot- And landed with a splat! The glasses- how they tinkled- as they smashed upon the floor, The minstrel twitched a little bit and then began to snore. The merchant chanced a peek at where the barman came to rest, Minstrel's drinking- Got him thinking- To be leaving would be best! The barman then arose with bits of carrot in his hair, "I don't remember eating that", thought merchant in his chair. Then as the barman's colour started steadily to rise, He turned about- And chased them out- With murder in his eyes! As minstrel hunched a-barfing in the gutter by the lane, The barman stood outside the door abusing them quite plain. Though keeping at a distance safe he shouted from afar, And all around- The only sound- Was minstrel going, "Hwaaargh!" |
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